Tributes to Betty Holmes

Go Back to Obituary

Personal Memories of
BETTY HOLMES MBE
from Max and Jackie Deadman

Max and I arrived in Old Basing in January 1989.  Within six months of us arriving in the village, Betty had persuaded Max to join the PCC as Treasurer and ` me to organize a church flower festival and take on the organization of the church flower rota.  Her powers of persuasion were to become very well known to us!
 
I am sure that many will have the same memories as us, as she was constantly visiting old and new friends in and around Old Basing.  We became a stopping off point on Betty’s stately progress through the village in her silver Saab.  I was struck by how the simple things of life gave her the most joy.  Exchanging plants, a small bunch of primroses or snowdrops, news and photographs from Alençon. Whether it was chewing over local politics in Maureen Priest’s kitchen over a cup of coffee and a cigarette, walking around Chris Cady’s garden at the Forge discussing how to grow the perfect sweet pea, dinner with the Darks, sharing a glass of ice cold Tio Pepe with Hilda Daniels or taking tea and freshly baked scones with Joy Marsh at Cromwell Cottage, we enjoyed the introduction and education into the life of Old Basing which she so generously gave us. Her little kindnesses were many, when my brother John died in Australia she was so understanding and compassionate.  She had always shown great interest in our Australian family, having one herself, and when we visited Australia we always had to report back in detail!
 
Betty was no mean flower arranger, and she enthusiastically took part in flower festivals until 1998.  In 1994 we staged a festival entitled ‘Church for all Seasons’ and the flower arrangers each took an element of weather or a seasonal church event.  Betty decided to do an arrangement in the small niche to the left of the altar and she fancied depicting ‘the wind’ with dried plant material.  As is usual, we asked for sponsorship for the flowers from the congregation.  Reg Streeter came up to Betty after a service and offered to sponsor her ‘wind’!!  Betty immediately broke into peals of laughter and with tears pouring down her face; she thanked a bewildered Reg who took a while to see the funny side of his offer.  Also for the 1994 festival, we decided to hold an art exhibition at Grange Farm, which in those days was owned by the Borough Council.  The old farm was in rather a mess and we had to clear the ground floor of debris before we could start.  I spent one memorable morning on a tour of the farmhouse with Betty, from attic to cellar, listening all the time to her memories of Seth Burton and the characters of her childhood in Old Basing (we were not supposed to go above the ground floor, but she persuaded Alan Turton to allow us ‘just a quick look’).  The flower festival in 1998, ‘Living History’ involved a great deal of research into all the plaques and commemorative stones within the church and Betty loved all the stories that we uncovered.  In the autumn of 1997 we invited Arthur Attwood, who Max knew through Basingstoke Charities, to supper with Betty, to hear all about Arthur’s connections with the Appletree family and the many plaques dedicated to the memory of that family within the church.  How we wished we had a recording of that evening!  Unbeknown to us, Betty and Arthur had been at Sunday school together and had been good friends since those early days.  The memories and stories flowed non-stop all evening, until at about 2.00 a.m. they left arm in arm, giggling as if they were still off to Sunday school!  At every flower festival Betty was present each day we were open, stewarding, manning the Friends sales table, bringing her friends along for a cup of tea, visiting open gardens and generally just doing what she loved most, talking to people.
 
As a keen gardener, she always wanted to walk around the garden when she visited us and talked knowledgably about plants and their propagation.  She was President of the Village Show Committee and a passionate supporter of that event, especially interested in encouraging children to take part.  Having given the land to the village of Old Basing on which the Village Hall is built and where the allotments, recreation ground and new cemetery are sited, she was naturally interested in everything that went on there.
 
In 1991 her beloved St Mary’s was in such desperate need of structural attention and renovation that a restoration appeal was launched under Betty’s Chairmanship, to raise the substantial funds required for the necessary work, the financial burden of which would fall heavily on the Church Council.  In the July of 1994 the appeal fund stood at £158,000 and at the close of the appeal in 1996 it was obvious that funds would not be sufficient to complete the restoration.  Because of this, yet again under Betty’s inspired leadership, the Friends of St Mary’s was formed and during the following four years a total of nearly £500,000 was raised by an enthusiastic group, who set about launching a yearly programme of fund-raising events aided by generous donations. The formation of The Friends enabled work to continue and to eventually include every aspect of the fabric of the Church, which was completed in 1998.  Betty tirelessly promoted the Friends and her enthusiasm reaped rewards. She gave her time, her home and garden for countless coffee mornings, sales and ‘open gardens’.  Meetings at Lychpit Orchard became legendary, the wine flowed and the business was expertly chaired by this extraordinary woman who always seemed to know how to get the best out of her committee.  She loved attending all the Friends events, especially the Duck Race and the Salmon and Bubbly parties at Barton’s Mill.  One memorable Duck Race saw her striding along the tow path brandishing her walking crook, hooking stray plastic ducks out of the weed and tossing them to the front of the 300 ducks in the race, much to the delight of all the villagers present. 
 
Betty loved the gatherings we had when our twinned horticultural group in Alençon visited every other year.  She was always so interested in all they had to say and showed them such kind hospitality that they always ask after her and pass on their best wishes when we visit.  In Euskirchen she was known as the ‘grand old lady of Basingstoke’. She worked hard at her twinning, all three of them and she was made a Freeman of Basingstoke and all three twinned towns.  One very special gathering at Barton’s Mill on her eightieth birthday, became a great European town-twinning meeting.  As the Mayor of the time,
Roger Morris said, “Betty Holmes is the soul of our twin towns.  She paved the way for us; she lights our way now.  Her example highlights the great need to carry twinning ever further and to allow the families of our towns to get to know each other even better and to allow young people to build a Europe and world of peace and friendship”.  Representatives from all three twinned towns were present, the Mayor of Alençon, and the Deputy Burgomasters of Braine L’Alleud and Euskirchen, they all made very flattering speeches in their own languages, for which we all had translations.  The magnificent stag in the garden at Lychpit Orchard was presented to her that evening, specially commissioned from a local artist.
 
Betty adored a good party and she loved people.  She seemed to come alive in the presence of people and especially children.  Her birthday dinners at Barton’s Mill were a great treat and if you were lucky enough to be included on her table at the Mayor’s Ball, you saw Betty in action.  Her networking and diplomatic skills were limitless, she knew so many people and those she didn’t know she made sure she was soon introduced to.
 
Max has been Treasurer of the Friends of St Mary’s Church for nineteen years and I was persuaded by Betty seventeen years ago to become its Secretary.  Over the last 20 years we have been lucky to have experienced Betty’s kindness, generosity and hospitality, we have admired her diplomacy and ability to teach by example and we both feel a sense of loss usually reserved for family.  She richly deserved all the honours bestowed on her, especially her MBE for services to her community.  We shall always remember her as a great Lady who dearly loved her village and her church.  Everything she did was from the heart – and what a big heart she had!

At Lychpit Orchard with Rev David Picton, on the tenth anniversary of the formation of The Friends of St Mary’s Church